Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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