I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
