what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
