After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
