break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
