i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
