I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
