Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
