Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
