please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
