She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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