we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
