like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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