i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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