She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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