About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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