Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
