somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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