I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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