Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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