so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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