He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
