I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
