He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
