She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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