i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize