I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
