I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
