Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
