She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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