I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
