He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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