After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
