woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
