I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
