I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
