While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
