Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
