I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
