Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
