haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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