what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she smelled like a LAN party
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
