Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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