My hand turned me down
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
