I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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