On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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