You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
honey bunches of taint.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
