i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
