the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
