my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize