he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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