good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
