He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize