sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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