We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
