But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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