He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
how does that bad decision feel?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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