im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize