I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
