you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize