You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
