i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You're like the curious george of whores
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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