Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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