i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she smelled like a LAN party
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
